I Survived

I’ve always wondered what goes on in a person’s mind seconds before he dies. When your inches away from death, does your brain shut down? Or is it still capable of thinking up a couple of final thoughts? I’m not morbid or suicidal, just curious.

As I lay flat on the road, bike and helmet strewn somewhere on the street, I remember thinking, “Shit, I think my brow bone’s broken, even a tooth.”

It’s surprising what the mind is capable of coming up with, even when you’re a hair’s breadth away from death. It’s a machine designed to think and like it or not, it does. As I met with the accident, my mind kept giving me real time updates on all that was going on. When I think about it now, this is the part that is the creepiest because, accidents are supposed to happen in micro seconds; it’s all over before you know it. Isn’t it?

I see the dog dart across the road, it’s yelping and howling like it has been scared out of its wits.

My mind tells me “BREAK!”

I break.

Then it tells me, “No, you’re not getting past this one. This is it. You’re going to band the dog head on”

I ram into the dog head on.

 I hear the sick thud and painful yelp of the injured animal. I feel the impact. Even then my mind talks to me. It says, “Wow! That’s a really sturdy dog. You’re going to be more hurt than the dog.”

The impact throws me off my bike. As my face is about to make painful contact with the concrete street, my mind tells me, “Your face. It’s going to go.”

I lie on the dirty street, the right side of my face pressed against the dirt. My skewed vision shows me a skewed truck come to a slow stop behind me. A man gets down and approaches me. Somebody picks me up, takes of my helmet.

I’m dazed, rattled and in indescribable shock. The right side on my forehead is throbbing and feels numb with pain. The right side of my lips smart and I can taste blood in my mouth.

Somebody helps me to a chair, somebody gives me water to drink, somebody gets my bike keys and my bag and through all of this I’m thinking, “Shit! What if I hadn’t worn my helmet?”

Thankfully, I survived. No head injury, no broken bones (Except a broken tooth, a couple of really nasty bruises, a torn lip and a really bad forehead bump.)

Lying on my bed, as the pain from the bruises and bangs begin to manifest itself, my mind is bombarded with a stream of thoughts, like someone somewhere opened a thought dam.

 I think, “What if the truck behind me had to be in speed? What if there had to be a vehicle coming from the opposite side of the road? What if I hadn’t worn my helmet!!!”

I could’ve died.

Life is frightfully short and unpredictable. All the hate, envy, jealousy, grudge, pride mean nothing.  People tell you this all the time, but it takes a near-death experience like this to really drive the thought home. Because,

Yesterday, I had a fight with my mom. I thought I’ll make things right when I come home this evening. 

A couple of days back, I thought I should start t-shirt painting again. I decided I would try to sometime this week.

Last Saturday, I realized it had been a while since I caught up with my college besties. I mentally made a plan for the Saturday after next.

And now I think, what if I didn’t have tomorrow or next Saturday or any day after that?

We know life is short, because people tell us this all the time and yet we have the hope, or the audacity, to promise to do things tomorrow.

Maybe the bump on my head has made me extra philosophical, or a little loony, but I’m surely going to rely more on today, because I’ve realized that it might be all I have.